Line Up, People!

You can knock America and Americans for a lot of things, but there is one thing that we do damn well. We line up. We instinctively line up and wait our turn. Sure, patience sometimes wears thin and people push forward. Sometimes some doofus comes along and tries to cut in line. Mostly, if we’re irritated we just do that exasperated sigh to let the person in front of us know our displeasure. All in all, we’re pretty darn orderly. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn’t work this way.

Ukraine is not the first country I’ve been to that doesn’t understand the concept of a line (or a “queue” as our former colonial masters call it.) Try getting on a metro in Hong Kong and you’ll see what I mean. Still, I’m in Ukraine so that is what I’ll complain about. Part of me wants to say, “Jebus people! Everyone will get a metro ticket/on the bus/a bowl of borscht/etc.! Just wait your frickin’ turn!” On the other hand, that isn’t really the case as Ukrainian customer service means when you’re tired of serving you stop serving. Screw the line. So I can understand why people try to push forward. Still, they could have the decency to do things the way I want them to.

I’ve decided that when you move to a new country and encounter an annoyance like this, you go through stages.

1. Discovery. Hey! That old lady just pushed in front of me to get on the bus. That’s rude, but kind of funny when you think about it.

2. Acceptance. I bet this old lady pushes in front of me to get on the bus. Yep, there she goes.

3. Internal Agression. I’m not letting this old lady on in front of me. I’m holding my ground.

4. Apathy. Let the old lady on in front of me. Who cares? At least I don’t eat potatoes for every meal.

5. External Agression. Let the old lady get on first. Woops! Sorry, grandma! Did my elbow just clip you in the side of the head?

6. Integration. I don’t care if the bus is empty, if that old lady thinks she’s getting on first she better have a spare set of teeth ready.

7. Enlightenment. Let the old lady on. I don’t have anywhere to be anyway and she looks like her time is limited.