Giggles at the grocery store

You will never believe what product I discovered today during my trip to the grocery store. I was in the pasta section, trying to determine if anything close to whole wheat pasta exists here, and right between the spaghetti and the penne I spotted it: multi-colored, penis-shaped pasta. I stared at it for a moment, just to make sure I was seeing things correctly. My thought process went something like this:

No. That can’t be right.

Maybe they just don’t know what it is. (Not that I think that Ukrainians don’t know what penises look like – there’ s cartoon penis graffiti all over the city, for crying out loud. Just maybe they don’t understand the concept of novelty pasta that’s really only appropriate at certain events, like, say, a bachelorette party.)

Wait. They have to know what it is.

Oh my god. There’s penis-shaped pasta at the grocery store.

And as it sunk in, I started giggling like a 13-year-old. In the middle of the pasta section. (My apologies for lack of any sort of photo-documentation of this discovery. Gah! When I’m I going to figure out that my camera must be with me at all times?)

As if that weren’t enough silliness for the day,  there was still the bus ride home. A few blocks from my stop, the guy in front of me gets a phone call. I would describe this gentleman as being in his mid- to late-50s and dressed typcially for a Ukrainian male of that age – black leather jacket, conservative cap over his graying hair. He clearly wants to be taken seriously. But what comes blaring out of his cell phone when it begins to ring?

“It Must Have Been Love” by Roxette.

The juxtaposition of Pretty Woman‘s heartfelt ballad to my present situation – mashed into a sweaty, smelly, Ukrainian bus – is enough to again resurrect my 13-year-old self and send me into another fit of unstoppable giggles. Luckily, my stop was next, so I could escape the suspicious glares of my fellow bus-riders.

I’m planning on staying home for the rest of the day. I think I’ve had all I can handle.