Waiting…

It really is the hardest part. It’s bidding time again, and here we are, waiting for the list of available jobs to be published. First there was a rumor that it would come out this week. Then there was a rumor that it would come out today. Today’s not over yet, but, geez, I’m tired of waiting.

I’m feeling a little bit bad about being so excited to bid. At some point, we may actually have to stay in one place for more than two years. Am I going to be able to deal with that? Because when it was time to bid in Kyiv, I defintely wanted OUT of Ukraine. And now that it’s time to bid in Nassau, I don’t think I could want to be OUT of The Bahamas any more than I currently do. I had/have completely different reasons for wanting out of each post, but I feel a little guilty about it. Like I need to just be happy where I am. But how to do that?

I’m proud of myself for doing much better here with getting out and having friends outside the Embassy community. I’ve got my quilt guild friends (some expats, some Bahamians) as well as some other people that I’ve met along the way. So I did manage to improve that aspect of life overseas.

But it gets much harder when the challenges are out of my hands. I’ve always struggled with how to be happy with things that annoy me that are totally beyond my control. I don’t understand how people can just “go with the flow.” I find it very hard to let things go, particularly when I feel that things could be different, if only people were willing to work at it.

Oops. I didn’t mean for this to turn into a rant. But I think it would just be best for everyone if the stinkin’ bid list came out already! Fingers crossed for this afternoon….